You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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