i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Randomize
