people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
