There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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