Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
