Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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