I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
