We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Please don't give away my fajitas
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
