I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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