if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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