..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
