Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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