I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize