I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
