I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ttyl tear gas
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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