tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
