There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
