i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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