u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
