I look better un-naked...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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