Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
