Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
