I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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