the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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