But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
