She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
