New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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