it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
