I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
