The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
