fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
