Joe is yelling at the trees again.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
