I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
