also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
