Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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