I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it's like iHOP with fire
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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