I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
