everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
