Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
