I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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