im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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