it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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