wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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