So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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