You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Randomize
