So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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