i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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