her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
