In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
