How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
high people should be assigned attendants
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
