He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize