I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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