so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
