i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
