you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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