Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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