I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize