sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
