i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
