Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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