My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
