i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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