allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
