My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
